No Win

So I didn't end up even getting through to the nominations for the photo comp. Ah well. At least I can rest easy in the thought that I didn't enter my best photo.

It's cold and I still feel sick... even though I'm a lot better. Had to have a few days off work this week. And even then I only went back to work because I felt sorry for the girl who was covering me. Now we're days behind schedule and I feel like I've let everyone down. But it's not my fault. blame my immune system.

Last week was a bad week for me. At this very moment right now, I feel pretty good. But I can't help forgetting how bad last week. I don't even think Age realises how bad it was. How can he? He knows I don't talk to him as much any more and I know it hurts him. He's told me. But in all honesty I don't talk much to anyone now... not about things that really matter anyway.

And that's where it all went wrong last time. When I didn't talk. My head seems to take ideas and run with them for months on end... but not only running, magnifying too. Till they become too big for my head and I need to get them out. Not good.
My thoughts should stay in my head. Certain ones anyway.

I need a new diary. That's my problem at the moment. If I'm not going to talk about it, then I need to write it down. at least that gives me another couple of months before those thoughts leak out and start staining my life.